As many of you know by now I was feeling pretty rock star status for brilliantly passing my CCI exam! There’s something to be said about preparing for something for so long and then when the “do or die” time comes you have the opportunity to prove if you are really cut for the task!
Now mind you, when I sat down I was heavy with doubt, “Oh I can’t do this! I want to go home!” I said to myself, but I reminded myself of the wise words of a friend, “you’ve passed every other test that you’ve taken why would this one be any different?” And with that I took on each question, and before I knew it I was an academic all star!!! Forgive me for toot toot tooting my own horn but I was just so proud of myself!
So again I was reminded that I am more powerful than I think :), and with all that enthusiasm I decided to tackle something that had been literally kicked to the curb for some time….myself! So I am currently working on taking better care of myself, and that feels really good!
By the way, goal update: 2 of my 5 major 2011 goals completed! Say what??? (In a Chris Tucker high pitched voice) 7 months into the year and I’m right on track!!!
This is from my BFF JMP, she knows just how to pick me up.
“Regardless of what our lives look like next to someone else’s, ours is still the one we go home with at the end of the day. Ours is the one we get to live – for all its possibility as well as challenge. What will you make of it today?”
If you would like to be inspired read the full blog here.
Well moments after I submitted my last post I was reminded that life doesn’t always go as planned. Thanks to some good friends I was reminded that this is just a small ripple in the bigger picture.
“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”
So i am on the edge of my seat waiting for the mail to come. No i’m not expecting a love letter from overseas. I’m waiting on my acceptance letter to take this dreaded test! Manic studying to trying to ensure that when asked a question like:
What’s the O2 saturation in the Pulmonary Veins, I don’t panic and mark 75%, knowing full well that the Pulmonary Veins are the only veins carrying the highest percent of oxygen at 98%.
So I am feeling good, and anxious. I think that I am at least going to pass the test which is really in the end all that matters. But my letter isn’t here yet! Grrrrrrrr!!! So i continue to study, and I continue to wait, much to my dismay. I hope that my next post will be a victory post with all of my test expoits of how I conquered the beast! Alas my life has become so anticlimactic! Well 2012 is my year to be more playful!
P.S. I was quite ecstatic when I was thinking last night. Did you realize that we are two weeks away for June, which means that half of the year is over, which means I’m closer to being done with this academic kamikaze stunt i’m trying to pull! Woot WOot!
Well it’s been a month now and i’m knee deep into embryology. I tell myself, “only 8 more months!” to kind of get myself along, and out of the, “this is torture!” mindset. But I am literally pushing myself to the limit of myself everyday. Pushing myself mentally, physically, and well i guess that also encompasses emotionally, since it often begs the question, “can i really do this?”, or after scanning an uncooperative toddler, “do i really want to do this?” with that being said, I heard a stat that said that going on a diet is mentally similar to torture, because you are trying to change a habit (and habits aren’t changed so easily). I’d imagine that is the same for forming new thought patterns.
Perhaps I am a bit melodramatic, I mean really it’s only 8 more months, many people have endured much worse for much longer!!! Well again something else I tell myself to get me along.
And maybe it’s also that i’m trying to work on taking 2 other tests at the same time that’s also adding to my feelings of academic suicide. But as a wise person once said, “this too shall pass, nothing lasts forever”, so I will take each day as it comes and hope that one day I can use my education to help someone little!
Often in life there are experiences that completely change the course of our lives and thus change us. Moments where you think, “I will never be the same after this experience!” Moments in my life where I felt like this include: being pregnant and reluctantly wondering how this baby was going to come out… of me! Yikes! Moving past a relationship, or being reduced to nothing financially, etc…
Whenever I went through a particular life challenge I would think to myself, “If I can get through this I can do anything!” and then I’d picture myself climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, going to Med School, adopting girls from China, opening a business, or taking Z on a trip around the world showing her all its splendor. All things seem possible and within grasp when you go through something that you once thought to be impossible. And of course these moments don’t come without struggle, persecution, and self doubts, but in the end you are happy that you’ve been able to have an experience that builds your confidence in what’s possible!
Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can’t ride you unless your back is bent.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
So you may have been wondering where in the world have I been, I mean did I just up and abandon my blog because I was whisked away to some exotic island, or was I pursuing my dreams of being a world photographer for National Geographic? Well it’s none of the above, I’ve actually just been over worked and overly tired.
Time has flown by and I’ve just completed my hours for my externship this week! Woot Woot! I can now say that I’m well adjusted to scanning in the pits of despair (literally)! I’ve also started my Pediatric Echocardiography course (what was I thinking?). So I’ve not fully had the time to sit and reflect on my accomplishment of finishing adult echo. I’m too busy moving on to find out that children can be born with double arches, single ventricles and a host of other congenital anomalies too numerous and too clumsy to mention! It does frighten me. Even after we had our first test this weekend I got a perfect score, but I still feel the, “can I really do this?” doubts. I hate those doubts. Oh and then I’m also studying for my adult credentials. Man am I pooped! So now I’m in the pep myself up mode. So if you have any peppy ideas please shoot them my way. I can use all the help I can get!